A local news station this week reported a truck driver helped police save the life of a teen boy who jumped from an overpass. The driver stopped the truck under the overpass and the boy landed on top of the trailer. This saved the young man’s life. It was reported the boy was getting help.
Within the last few weeks two survivors of the Parkland, Florida, high school massacre committed suicide. A girl suffered survivor’s guilt and post-traumatic stress. A boy committed suicide a short time later.
The high school freshman told me she wanted to kill herself. She had been depressed in junior high and had worked consistently with the counselor. The counselor, the girl, and the parents thought she was doing well. She told me the depression gradually returned. When suicide ideation became something she could not ignore, she knew she needed help. Even though her parents spoke English, I knew they would revert to their first language under stress. I needed help. I immediately called my colleague who came immediately. I was mainly a listener from that point on. It was ultimately decided to admit the student for residential treatment at a facility in McAllen. I helped with phone calls and paperwork. She was admitted by early evening.
Whenever a news report states a young person ran or rode a bicycle in front of a car, I wonder if it was accidental or intentional. I remember a kindergarten boy pacing rapidly around the school library. The principal was near the door. We were both trying to soothe the boy. He kept telling us to let him out. He was going to kill himself. His words were, “I am going to run in front of a car.”
The boy was different. He knew he was different. He did not want to be different. He had ADHD. He wanted to sit, focus, and do his work like the other children. He could not. He began his kindergarten year at a private school in Harlingen. The atmosphere there was sit down, be quiet, and do your work. He was always in trouble. His parents transferred him to our district hoping that the situation would be different. Our teachers and paraprofessionals were more flexible and open to accommodate him. They would allow breaks and movement. We were a team, and we all wanted to help him. I felt it was part of my job to build self- esteem in every child. I wanted him to appreciate his uniqueness. I wanted all of the children to respect the uniqueness of their peers. In time the boy began to enjoy coming to school and began to feel that he was doing well.
The third- grade girl cried as she told me why she had tried to kill herself. I can still hear her saying, “Cause I don’t got no things.” Her parents’ relationship was rocky. One day it was good. The next day it was divorce time. She had been in our school district until several months earlier when her Dad took a job in another town. After an argument, her mom gathered up a few clothes and left. All other belongings were left behind. They had returned several days before the girl’s attempt. She had watched a TV show in which a man killed himself by falling on a knife. She tried it. Fortunately, she used a plastic knife and it broke. Her grandmother had a supervisory position with the school district. I called her. (I did make sure her mom did not have a telephone.) Her grandmother came for her, and she spent the remainder of the school day in her grandmother’s office. They went shopping. She got new clothes, toiletries, toys and other things she wanted. She had “things.” The parents agreed that the girl could live with her grandmother. She became a happy third grader.
Times were simpler for those young people. There are more stressors today. There are also more resources for help. Many young people suffer in silence and do not get the help they need. They need to be assured that they do not have to go through difficult times alone. Parents and teachers should be alert to such things as loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed, declining grades, withdrawal from friends, neglect of personal appearance, etc. Suicide indicators are easily found on the internet as are suicide hotline numbers. We all need to be aware of suicide indicators. Talk to the young people in your life! Give them permission to talk to you without judgment or reproach. Even those who seem O.K. may have problems they are hesitant to share. Do your part to keep our young people safe.