GRIEF

The fifth- grade girl had a sad expression when she entered her classroom.  She was distracted and unable to focus on her work.  Finally, the teacher asked if she had a problem.  The girl told her that her aunt died.  The teacher asked if she wanted to go to the counselor’s office.  The girl thought a minute and said yes.

I could see the Catholic Church from my office windows.  There was a crowd gathering, apparently for a funeral.  The church bell began to ring as the girl entered my office.  She immediately began to cry.  I gave her a Kleenex and made her comfortable.  She then told me the funeral Mass was for her favorite aunt. She had pleaded with her parents to attend, but they would not let her.  She was not permitted to attend the rosary the evening before. She considered skipping school and sneaking into the church after everyone entered.

She talked and cried, listened to me, then talked and cried some more.  The aunt had been her friend and confidant.  I considered closing the blinds, but she did not want them closed.  We watched as the family and friends left the church and the procession departed.

She wrote a letter to her aunt.  I made a few suggestions to get her started.  She told her aunt how much she was going to miss her. She wrote of the times they had together. She had many memories she wanted to write.  The more she wrote, the calmer she became.  She shared what she was writing with me.  She realized that it was O.K. to talk about her aunt.

We put the letter inside a balloon, blew it up, and tied some ribbon on the end.  We went outside.  The balloon was not filled with helium.  I was saying a prayer as she held her hands high and released it.  Fortunately, a big gust of wind took it up over the trees and out of sight.  I breathed a sigh of relief as we returned inside.

We talked about her parents not allowing her to attend the service.  She accepted that they were trying to protect her.  At lunchtime, I gave her the option of going with her class or eating in my office.  She chose to go with her class and to stay in class for the remainder of the day.

Adults often do not realize that young people may grieve deeply and they also need closure.